The Weak Weirdo

Washboard

2010-09-06T18:58:00.001-04:00

In Groton, I lived in an apartment complex. There was a laundry room there, but the cost of its use was exorbitant, so I used drying racks, which conserved energy and saved money. In New Haven, however, I do not live in a complex with a laundry room, so I drive to my favorite laundromat in Orange, two towns over. Not long ago, the incorporation of hand-washing into that old system of doing laundry struck me as an extension and improvement on that model and my current system of doing laundry.

I searched for a washboard at stores in the area, but there weren't any so I eventually had to order one online. It arrived last week, and yesterday and today, Labor day, I hand washed two loads of laundry. Just as I thought, hand washing clothes is a time and labor intensive activity, but it does conserve a significant amount of energy. I did not have to drive out to Orange this weekend, nor pay for a machine to wash my clothes. I will still go to the laundromat to wash loads of large items (blankets, sheets, etc.) and when the temperature drops, but otherwise I can see myself doing laundry in this way from now on, except maybe when I'm feeling tired or lazy.

2010-08-29T22:57:00.004-04:00

Various Matters

The first drill of OCS Phase II was last weekend. As expected, the training staff stand back and allow the candidates to plan and execute the missions, and the work between drills is significant. We have to write personal essays for publication in the Connecticut Guardian. There will be committees to plan class functions, dues to pay each month, and every other month a two-hour-plus drive to Camp Smith. My individual, assigned duties will require me to show up early. I am so unmotivated!

On the lighter note of education, registration matters have been resolved and my schedule is set for the fall. I am looking forward to learning and continued academic excellence. In my online search for education resources, I learned about University of the People, a tuition-free, online university. It is new and currently not accredited, but is preparing to apply for accreditation. It offers only two degree paths (business administration and computer science) and does not accept transfer credit (which means that you must start from the beginning). However, it has five two-month terms each year and the materials for each course are all online (no more buying books!). I sent in the paper forms that they required for application and hope to begin study in their computer science program in November. I figure a second B.S. degree will be helpful, and by the time I finish the program the university will be accredited. I really think that University of the People can change the educational landscape; I'm sure many interested parties are watching its development very closely.

I've increased my mileage and incorporated speed work in my runs. The next run I plan on doing is the Artistry in Motion 10K on September 11. I've never run a 10K before, and I fully expect to run it slower than my most recent 5K pace.

Book List: A3

A3: The Theory Toolbox, by Jeffrey Nealon and Susan Searls Giroux

If you enjoy thinking about metaphysical matters, this book is for you. This thin book of about two-hundred pages should be a quick read, but you will constantly stop to think about what you are reading. For such theoretical and diverse material, the language is surprisingly accessible. "Working Questions" are interspersed throughout the reading and suggestions for further reading are provided at the end of each chapter. This is an excellent book for self-learners, and among the books on this list I would recommend reading this one early.

Race Result

2010-08-07T23:07:00.001-04:00

I felt great throughout the run, except towards the end when I had to push myself. There are no signs of the usual over-use injuries and my legs feel little fatigue so many hours later. I'd like to become fast at this distance. I'll add speed elements to my runs starting next week. Race results can be found at http://www.hitekracing.com/results10/wh0807.htm and pictures at jlgdesigns.com.

Hope Is Coming 5K

2010-08-07T02:04:00.001-04:00

I've read that one shouldn't start speed work until one averages ten miles a week. I've just started averaging that much, and I've also been active in other ways (PTing, marching, rucking, etc.) lately. Basically, I'm a somewhat fit fellow who runs really slowly. It's been some years since I ran a 5K, so this one should give me a baseline of 5K-no speed work performance.

OCS Phase I

2010-08-03T11:56:00.001-04:00

120 were expected from New York, New Jersey, and the New England states, but only 97 reported. By the end of Phase I, little over 70 remained.

Some found the physical demands overwhelming. Running was an integral part of PT every morning. The rest of the day, we ran wherever we went, in uniform (with kevlar helmet and loaded vest), and usually with loaded ruck also. When something was not uniform, or not done properly, or not done within the time limit, we got smoked. Low crawls, bear crawls, crab walks, mountain climbers, overhead arm claps, flutter kicks, and, of course, the push up were the training aids of choice. Before each meal, we did pull-ups. This routine did not let up; there were no light days to recover. I actually got weaker as training progressed. At one point I couldn't make a fist because of all the pull-ups I was made to do.

Some found the academic demands insurmountable. There were two written tests, a five mile ruck march, and day and night land navigation practical tests. If you fell out on a run, you got smoked and yelled at. These academic requirements, however, were hard and fast. If you failed the test and retest, you were gone.

Innervating the physical and academic demands were a number of others: planned chaos and lack of sleep. We were all given leadership responsibilities (squad leader, platoon leader, 1st Sergeant, etc.) but chain of command and communication throughout the company, especially at the beginning, operated poorly. Schedules, uniforms, SOPs, and tasks changed almost by the minute, and one would not find uncommon several people screaming conflicting information, and then the TAC staff would change their orders just to see how we would react. All of this was done on little sleep. I usually had less than four hours each night. I was a zombie trying his best during the day.

If these demands weren't enough, there were a number of things that could go wrong. You had to take care of your feet. Being on our feet most of the day, in boots, running everywhere, many people got terrible blisters, athlete's foot, and infections on their feet. I don't know how I did it, but aside from feeling as if my feet were going to fall apart, I did not have any of these problems. Almost arbitrarily, you might find yourself having to write a 500 word essay, or giving a speech in the dining facility, or carrying around rocks in your ruck. Some of these were more difficult than others, but when there's no time and you're tired, even one more responsibility can feel like a mountainous task.

Despite these difficulties, I made it. Everything I've described above is rather general; the two weeks (7/16-7/31) are a blur of activity in my memory, but I did jot down a few things in my notebook.

7/20 Tuesday--Noticed that filling on front right tooth has fallen out. (This caused me a great deal of stress. Should I quit to seek treatment?)

7/21 Served as 1st Sgt. (A triumph. I conducted morning PT and company run, and completed the assigned tasks of the day. In preparation, I spoke with the previous 1st Sgt--one of The Seven OCs of the Apocalypse--who turned out to be one of the friends I made in Phase I)

7/22 Slept under the stars. (We must have done something wrong because we set up a base on the parade field. The watch schedule made sleep for me almost impossible; I may have slept 30 minutes that night)

7/23 No speech. Gladiator for tomorrow. (I was supposed to give a speech during the height of activity in the dining facility during breakfast, but had little opportunity (see 7/22). So 1st Sgt tasked me with re-enacting a scene from Gladiator the next day)

7/24 Was gladiator. (1st Sgt fashioned a crown out aluminum foil and epaulets out of coffee filters, which he taped to my shoulders (no blouse, short shirt sleeves pulled up), and I wore my poncho liner as a cape. I stood on a milk crate in front of a full dining facility and re-enacted the scene in which Crowe's character addresses the horsed, flanking element before the battle at the beginning of the movie. Many people would later tell me that this was motivational and a high point in Phase I, but I had actually considered ringing the bell to get out of doing it.)

7/24-7/27 morning--same shirt, trousers, blouse. (We were out in the field to do land navigation training. No showers, only baby wipes, which most did not use in favor of sleep.)

7/28 evening-7/30 same trousers, blouse. (Back in the field after short period at Camp Rell for written landnav test, to do day and night landnav practical tests.)

I told people that if I completed Phase I, I would consider it a singular accomplishment, and I do. I was forced outside of my comfort zone. I pushed past bodily pain and exercised force of will to move forward. I saw people around me quit or fail, and I resolved to succeed. I made friends. My mind now turns toward Phase II, and I know where I have to make improvements. My work is cut out for me.

2010-07-04T16:26:00.004-04:00

OCS Phase 0: 3rd Drill of 3

It's Sunday, the fourth of July, and drill was last weekend. I got a big dose of the great outdoors, I got physically and mentally beat up, and I learned a little about the character of some of my fellow classmates.

If anything can be said of OCS, perhaps foremost is that you get to observe people in difficult situations. There are a few who won't take responsibility for their actions and will throw you under the bus without a thought. There are those who try to take charge of the situation merely because they are there--seeing people trying to control a situation in direct opposition to one another is high entertainment. And of course, there is the constant judgment of other's chances for success in OCS.

As I observed myself and my fellow candidates this last drill, my thoughts turned back to Warrior Transition Course in Fort Sill. Sure, the people here are generally better educated, more intelligent and knowledgeable, and demonstrate greater motivation, but these are technical concerns if we view ourselves as drawn from a better applicant pool. The same nastiness and pettiness is still manifest. I know a senior enlisted soldier who I had previously held in contempt for the same confrontational and individualistic tendencies that I have seen in ourselves these past drill weekends, but now I think I understand: in order to keep a group of assholes in line, an even bigger, meaner asshole is required.

Phase 1 is less than two weeks away and I am trying to prepare. I am ramping up my training routine and will do a number of ruck marches with boots in the next two weeks, and will add mental exercises to my program of studies and reading.

Fast Food Hope

2010-05-25T14:35:00.001-04:00

I was driving home from one of my forays into Orange yesterday, when I decided to stop by a fast food restaurant to try one of their new products. The place was near home, well within the bounds of the ghetto where I live. I hadn't been to one of these in a long time, and had never been to this particular one.

The first thing I noticed were the prints on the glass of the doors, which had not likely been recently cleaned, but when I entered I saw that few of the surfaces (floor, tables, trash receptacles, etc) appeared clean upon casual inspection. When I went to the men's restroom, I saw a sign indicating that, due to frequent destruction of the restroom, the key was only available from the manager. I decided that I could wait.

A customer was collecting her order when I got to the counter, but as soon as she left, so did the employee behind the counter, who made a beeline to a corner of the dining room to talk with a friend or coworker. There appeared to be no one working except for a few employees hanging out in the dining room. I stood there for a while wondering if I was somehow being discriminated against. Getting upset would have been easy, but I decided to be patient; perhaps I did not fully understand what was going on.

Occasionally, a girl appeared from the back. She was working the drive through and apparently everything else. Finally, she came by to take my order and then promptly disappeared. Some time later, a guy appeared out of nowhere from the back and asked me if I was being helped. I said yes, so he scooped up the men's restroom key and took off. A closer look at the counter on the cashier side revealed a real mess: napkins that had been used to wipe up some mess, dust, rubber bands. The girl who took my order came by to tell me that she was waiting on the bacon, and I indicated that there was no rush. As she turned to speed back to the drive-through window, I said to her, "You're terribly overworked."

When she finally brought my order, she said that it was free due to the wait. I replied that I didn't mind paying, but she wouldn't have it. I filled my soft drink cup, said, "Young miss, you have a wonderful day," which she returned, and I was off.

Lost Series Finale

2010-05-24T16:43:00.001-04:00

Throughout the two-and-a-half hour episode, I wanted to know what would happen next and how it would all end, but the suspense of earlier seasons was absent. On the whole, the sixth season was progressively more disappointing, so the inadequacy of the finale was appropriate.

Apparently, the parallel universe was created by the survivors of Oceanic 815 and contained the dead survivors until they were all dead--so they could move forward as a group. So, when Hugo appoints Benjamin as his advisor, and a few minutes later in the parallel universe they compliment each other on a job well-done, they are complimenting each other after Hugo, as protector of the island, has died. Presumably, this means that another full cycle of good-versus-evil has transpired, and the final meeting of dead survivors in the parallel universe is occurring at some time in the distant future. Basically, this ridiculous explanation of the parallel universe proves the insignificance of roughly half of the sixth season.

What's left of the season after stripping away any information of the parallel universe is thin and unsatisfactory. The light at the heart of the island is not adequately explained--in fact the episode in which it is introduced is another, last-minute series low. And Jacob seems to have had it wrong: the threat that a mortal Man in Black poses to the world is difficult to assess. One gets the feeling that they used so many tricks earlier in the series that they couldn't help but to half-ass their explanations.

When the screen faded to white from the assembly in the church, I thought, "Is that it?" The whole thing felt gimmicky and absurd. If you have any lingering questions about Lost, just chalk it up to magic. If you had hoped for things to turn out differently, just pretend that they did. It really doesn't matter.

OCS Phase 0: 2nd Drill of 3

2010-05-17T18:08:00.001-04:00

The physical fitness test went well. I did the same number of push ups but did significantly more sit ups and took more than a minute off of my run time (I actually finished third in class, 15 or so seconds behind first). I imagine that I'm near the top of the class in physical fitness. This is much better than I thought I'd do, since I haven't really been pushing myself between drills. There are almost five weeks until next drill, so perhaps I can push hard and score the maximum of 300 on the next test. I'd really like to come in first on that run!

I showed up Friday evening, though we were required to report on Saturday by 0700. On Saturday this meant that we didn't get breakfast and started off with the physical fitness test. Of course, after the test there was no time to shower, and we went right into the packing list inspection and then classes in troop leading procedures and land navigation. Before lights out we could have showered, but as a group decided against it so that we'd have less to clean the next day. In anticipation of forced hydration, our platoon leader made us drink a canteen, but then our training officer made us drink a canteen right before lights out anyway. We always do forced hydration the night before a ruck march, but the initiative taken by the platoon leader doomed me to a sleepless night.: between lights out at 2200 and wake up at 0300, I got up about ten times to use the latrine. People were constantly going to and from the latrine, most of the time slamming the door. A number of us went without sleep.

Warrant officer candidates led us on the four mile ruck march. I didn't suffer any blisters, but I really need to toughen up my feet. I suppose I could load up my pack, put on the boots, and walk out the door, but I live in the city and that would look ridiculous. I'll have to think about that. Anyway, after the march, we did land navigation. The first point we searched for wasn't even marked, so we went all over the map--up and down hills, through swamps, across rivers. We were so lost that we decided to walk the azimuth straight from a known location on the map. This actually required us to wade across a river. When I crossed, I fell in. Since I wore the gore-tex boots, they kept the water in while we continued our journey in the woods. We must have stumbled across more than five kilometers of difficult terrain. I think that my fall in the river started my descent into misery. Here I was, tired, hungry, dirty, my boots making a sucking sound each time I took a step, my feet in ruin--I did not want to be there--and being filthy with that swamp muck really made the experience memorable.

We have a four-hour obligation on Memorial Day. I think that we will be participating in a parade. Additionally, some of us will meet at Stone's Ranch before next drill to practice land navigation. OCS really does require more of a soldier than the weekend each month. At least next drill is a ways off.

2010-05-13T12:03:00.003-04:00

I picked up the TA-50 today at the Reserve Center and now should have practically everything I need for the second drill of OCS Phase 0 this coming weekend. The issue filled two duffel bags. We don't need to report until Saturday morning, but are strongly encouraged to show up Friday evening so that we can square away our lockers, since all gear must be placed in the locker in accordance with a diagram. Of course, we are likely to empty our lockers on Saturday, haul our stuff to the field, and lay it all out to have it inventoried--then haul it all back and reset our lockers afterwards. I suppose this process is necessary, but this kind of inconvenience has always been my least favorite part of the military.

First thing Saturday, we'll do a physical fitness test. I've actually been running. In the past, I'd been so excited about training that I'd overdo it and experience over-use injuries. Now, though, I run at a comfortable pace and allow myself adequate rest between runs. Perhaps this year I'll finally achieve my goal of running a marathon.

The classes this weekend will be about troop leading procedures and land navigation, and on Sunday we'll do a four mile ruck march. I've always found these difficult. I keep good pace but my feet always hurt afterwards.

Sure, I may be mildly uncomfortable over those two days, but what else did I have planned? And the more I think about it, the more sensible the investment of time appears to be. I'm still not looking forward to this.

Book List: A2

A2: Hacking: The Art of Exploitation by Jon Erickson

I have always wanted to get into the machine and the network and understand their inner processes, but why? The dilemma here is the same as that of the sociologist: does he want to describe, explain, predict, or control the observable behavior? Whatever my reasons, this book begins by teaching just those things I have long thought of learning but of which I had not found a convenient presentation: C, assembly, GDB--the first steps in understanding the interaction between the user's language and the environment in which it acts. By reading and using the examples throughout the book, the reader gains familiarity with the Linux environment, i.e. the shell and other programming tools. Then you learn how to exploit poor language and the rules of the computing environment. But will you use this knowledge to make your code more robust, your network behaviors safer, or will you follow a darker path? This hefty book of almost 500 hundred pages comes with a distribution of Ubuntu Linux and costs about $50.

OCS Phase 0: 1st Drill of 3

2010-04-26T12:13:00.001-04:00

Saturday was a beautiful day. The field at Camp Rell is a wide expanse of flat grass, and to the south there is the ring of cherry blossom trees and Long Island Sound beyond. As we were doing drill and ceremony exercises on that field Saturday, I stopped to listen to the singing of birds and to look up--there wasn't a cloud in the sky. How I wished to be away at that moment!

From the moment I arrived I started to ask myself, 'What have I gotten myself into now?' I believe that I can handle the physical challenges, but I have to mentally prepare myself to be the leader that they will require me to be. I have my work cut out for me.

There are three months of phase 0, each comprised of one weekend of drill. Phase 1 is two weeks at Camp Rell in July, phase 2 is 12 months of weekend drill, and phase 3 is two weeks at Fort McCleland in Alabama, in August 2011. I'll do my best to describe my progress in officer candidate school in this blog. Or tell of my failure--phase 1 has a 50% failure rate.

OCS Phase 0

2010-04-20T15:00:00.001-04:00

The first OCS phase 0 drill is this weekend. I just spoke with my contact and learned that I must study a sizeable chapter in the OC handbook. They ask you questions out of the handbook before you eat. I imagine that this is similar to a scene in the movie Annapolis, in which Franco's character deprives everyone at his table of a wonderful-looking meal. With this day nearly through and work on Friday, I have less than two days to do what I can. I'm beginning to have WTC flashbacks.

2010-04-19T12:23:00.008-04:00

Book List: A1

I have always valued books. Perhaps this is because I am an independent learner and books are the most comfortable way for me to access information. There may certainly be generational forces at work in this. After all, the network has changed the way that large groups of people get information, and electronic readers have now come down so far in price that they may come into wide use--a generation or two from now may have little use for paper books.

Whatever the reason, I have, over a large span of my life, searched for books that would give me answers and allow me to do things that I wanted to do. When I found one, it could provoke a storm of creative effort, impart a bit of wisdom, or express a long-held belief more eloquently than I previously understood it. These books are very difficult to find, so finding such a list of books on the network would perhaps help a like-minded person tremendously. The beginning of such a list is the purpose of this post, and in this I set forth the organization of it: there will be three lists: one for textbooks (A), one for other non-fiction (B), and one for fiction (C). I have a few ideas for entries, and will start the list with its first now.

A1: Introduction to Probability by John Freund

This book makes a significant treatment of probability accessible to the layman and gives more advanced students food for thought. I especially like it because its sections on subjective probability, utility, and decision making form a very interesting bridge between probability and social science. With its conversational style, and problem sets, and solutions at the back, Probability is perfect for the independent learner. This thin book of 247 pages is small enough to fit in a large coat pocket or easily in any book-bag or purse. Best of all, it is an affordable Dover publication.

Back Home at Last

2010-03-13T13:17:00.001-05:00

On the last day of ANCOLC, class was finished before eleven and, except for one minimal cleaning detail, we had nothing to do the rest of the day. We had unnecessary formations at 1600, 1700, and 2400, and our bus left for OKC at about 0145. As the bus turned onto the interstate and Fort Sill disappeared behind me, I felt as if a heavy weight was leaving my shoulders.

We arrived at the airport at about 0330. The first of my three flights was scheduled to leave at 0925. I arrived at the Tweed New Haven Airport around 1730 and called Pfc Washington, who came to pick me up. Only after we arrived at the Reserve Center did I learn that he had wasn't working at the recruiting office anymore due to state financial difficulties. Not only did he pick me up and ensure that I could get home (by giving my car a jump--it had been unused for almost 2 1/2 months), which were not his responsibility, but he also brought me two slices of Pepe's pizza, which he claimed to be the best pizza he'd ever had. We spoke at length as my battery recharged.

All's well that ends well, I guess. I'm going to the recruiting office on Monday with my paperwork. Hopefully they'll be able to tell me exactly where I'm headed next.

WTC: ANCOLC

2010-03-06T18:25:00.001-05:00

I'm writing from the Rec-plex on a Saturday. I may walk over to the theater for the 1900 showing of The Book of Eli.

WTC graduation was short and followed by pass. A number of us left at 0130 that Wednesday evening. We NCOs put our bags in trucks that evening and in the morning marched over to Foxtrot Battery for the Army Non-Commissioned Officer Leadership Course.

Life here is completely different from WTC. The course is taught well. Time is used productively, yet there is no stress here. We have a great deal more freedom.

I'll be starting the journey home on Wednesday or Thursday. I can't wait.

WTC: Two Days and a Wake-Up

2010-02-28T14:46:00.001-05:00

I'm writing from the wonderful post library again. We completed the 8K ruck march at the end of the three day field exercise on Thursday, we returned our weapons on Friday, and yesterday we did the physical fitness test. We'll turn in our TA-50 (armor, helmet, alice pack, wet weather gear, sleeping bags, etc.) tomorrow. Tuesday is Family Day and graduation is on Wednesday.

WTC NCOs will have to spend an additional week in an NCO course here at Fort Sill. From what I've heard, we'll spend all our time in a classroom environment, go to chow on our own, and have pass each evening. These are significant improvements over WTC, but what will make it better or worse are the people. Everyone in the course will be a sergeant, a leader by definition, but not necessarily by ability.

Slowly, incrementally, I'm getting closer to going home.

2010-02-21T16:20:00.006-05:00

WTC: Nine Days and a Wake-Up

I'm writing from the post library this Sunday. This library is wonderful, and the staff are friendly and helpful. I believe that I made out well today: to wash and dry a load of laundry at the public laundry facilities here costs $2.00. I offered someone in my platoon the cost of doing their laundry if he would also do my laundry, so I was able to not worry about laundry and enjoy the day. Laundry is one of the biggest concerns here in WTC, since the number of washers is terribly inadequate for the number of soldiers in the battery. People here will remove your wet clothes from a dryer so they may use it instead--the situation is cut-throat.

A terrible ice storm moved up our WTC ship date by one day. After we got to WTC, it deprived us of power and some days later put us on water restriction. That was okay; we sat around in the dark, missed a few showers, and ate MREs. In the first three or so weeks of training, we took the diagnostic physical fitness test, completed CLS, qualified on the M16A2, and did the 3K and 5K ruck marches. No problem. The unavoidable inconveniences and the training program are not what make WTC a hellhole; people are. As the subject of this email indicates, I am actually counting the days before this course is over, and it's because of the people here.

I have written about the quality of people in this course from what I observed of them in Reception. My experiences in WTC have only reinforced those first impressions. This training environment is no place to ask questions or to offer advice--the former marks you as a complete idiot while the latter marks you as a know-it-all. There is an overabundance of unassigned leaders and soldier paragons in WTC. Most of the talk in formation is among those who are trying to tell others what to do, or are complaining or gossiping about others. We have some class-acts who have unscrupulously and singlemindedly connived their ways into student leadership positions, and their leadership has only helped to make WTC the warm, friendly place that it is not. And the backstabbing. I will only say that I have been thrown under the bus more than once.

I cannot wait to graduate.

2010-01-23T20:17:00.005-05:00

WTC: Reception: Day 20

I'm back at the Rec-plex on a Saturday. Those of us at Reception waiting for a WTC class to start now number over 300. We've been told that the next class will only be able to accommodate 180 males and 60 females, with, in regard to males, a preference for hard-start (those who must make their scheduled follow-on training dates), National Guard, and Reserve soldiers. Being a National Guardsman in the first of ten or so platoons, I believe that my spot in the class is secure, and thank goodness. We sometimes do work details: picking up trash in an area or helping to process initial entry training soldiers, but mostly we do what is called 'barracks maintenance,' which is another term for sitting in a hot barracks and trying not to fall asleep. We should ship to WTC on Thursday.

The people here continue to get on my nerves. Among those who decide to return to the military, there should be a higher number of dedicated individuals in whom military bearing is obvious. Sadly, the tired, decrepit masses that constitute an inordinately large part of us are likely only to make the Army weaker. Please let us ship on Thursday.

2010-01-15T20:49:00.006-05:00

WTC: Reception: Day 12

It's now day 12. I'm writing from the MWR Rec-plex (not my cell phone, which limits the size of my emails), which has computers with internet, video games, movies, etc.Anyway, day 2 was much like day 1: cold and uneventful. IET platoons continued to take priority over us, so we continued to wait in the cold. On day 3, we were the first to medical. We arrived at about 7:30 AM and it wasn't until after seven in the evening that we were told to come back the next day. On day 4, Thursday, we were told that our WTC class was cancelled (we are all currently in what is called Reception, a place where one normally spends four days processing-in) and that we'd ship to WTC on the 28th, three weeks later than originally scheduled. Those of us who scheduled WTC dates around family and work obligations were very upset, but the real kick in the teeth came the next day when we were told that we wouldn't be getting paid until perhaps the middle or end of February. Perhaps the best way to summarize the first week is this instance of suck: in the shower at the end of day 1, I asked myself, "What else can go wrong?" and we lost electricity the next moment. The funny was that I wasn't even all that surprised.

Perhaps the most frustrating thing about this experience is the people. Everyone in WTC is prior service, and we lack for no people who want to be in charge. We can't march, so it's anyone's guess if our march to the mess hall or anywhere else will end up as a complete disaster. We were once on the march--poorly making our way to chow--when we passed a drill sergeant who just stood by and shook his head as we went by. He didn't even berate us--we sucked that much. In formation, we just can't shut up.

At least I'm making good use of my time. I brought a sociology and some mathematics books and have studied regularly. I'm really looking forward to this three-day weekend.

2010-01-09T23:11:00.006-05:00

WTC: Reception: Day 1, Part 2

No sleep. Before breakfast, over a period of about two hours, we stood in formation for a long time, marched to a different location where we stood in formation some more, then marched back to where we started--a poorly orchestrated and non-planned waste of time. And painful too, since it was near freezing and we were all in nothing but athletic apparel. Breakfast itself, like all the meals here, was excellent. I cannot praise enough the quality, variety, and quantity of food. Food service here really is top-notch.

After breakfast, we began in-processing, which meant a long wait in the cold at each department at the end of which we were nearly always turned away because WTC is low-priority compared to IET (initial entry training) soldiers. Platoon after platoon of new recruits passed us by while we continued to wait in the cold.

2010-01-09T00:00:00.006-05:00

WTC: Reception: Day 1, Part 1

There were two flights in my trip to Fort Sill in Oklahoma, and both were late. We arrived in Oklahoma City some time before midnight but well later than we should. Then we got on one of the last buses for a ninety minute bus ride to Fort Sill. Being around the military crowd on that bus brought back memories, none of them good. We were greeted by drill sergeants who promptly dropped an inattentive WTC group and made them do push-ups. Then we all sat down to do paperwork, and afterwards they issued us PT wear. By the time all of that was finished, we might have had an hour of sleep before wake-up at 4:00 AM, but we had to learn how to make our bunks, so no sleep.

I am so tired right now. It's Friday and I'd better take this rare opportunity to get a lot of sleep. I'll continue this later.

2010-01-08T23:29:00.005-05:00

WTC: Day 0

20100103: One of the last things I had to do before going to the reserve center was return a library book. It was a Sunday, so my plan was to use the book drop. Only my neighborhood library doesn't have one, so I was standing in the middle of a snowstorm wondering what to do.

That's when a kid walked out of the blizzard and I had an idea. I asked him to return the book for me. I even told him how great it was and that he had the time to read it since it wouldn't come due for a while. Will he try to sell the book on the black market? I doubt it. He seemed like a nice kid and to be interested in reading it.

The book was Thomas Friedman's "Hot, Flat, and Crowded," a book that everyone needs to read. I rushed through it so I could return it before WTC.

2009-12-29T09:29:00.004-05:00

I've pulled all finance programs from my website. When I stood back and looked at the mess that accumulated in that section, I realized that it represented an organic development process--that it lacked overall planning and was the result of incrementally directionless efforts. Plus, I realized that the whole mess could be elegantly written in a single program, which I will get around to doing when I return from WTC. Of course, it is only now that I'm about to leave for a good long time that I feel like doing all the programming that I've been thinking about.

I leave for WTC on Sunday. As well as I can, I will blog and post pictures to document the WTC experience. Hooah!

WTC

2009-12-07T14:54:00.001-05:00

I completed my second and last RSP drill before shipping to Warrior Transition Course (an abbreviated boot camp for prior service Air Force, Navy, and Coast Guard) in January. At RSP drill, we did Humvee rollover drills, weapons training, and Army Combatives. Combatives was fun, but two days later my body still hurts all over and I can barely make a fist. I can scarcely wait to get to WTC.

C-Span Action!

2009-11-10T17:47:00.001-05:00

I was riveted to C-Span late Saturday night, munching on popcorn (unsalted, unbuttered, cooked in safflower oil), watching the House discuss the Stupak amendment and then vote on their health reform bill. It was more exciting than an action-packed blockbuster! Now the action moves to the Senate, where Lieberman has threatened to filibuster with Republicans. I am amazed by how inter-related the 2006 drama in my own state is to this national drama now.

As I watched the votes tally on the screen, I thought about a conversation I overheard downstairs among some of my roommates. They were discussing their experiences with their lack of health insurance. Good people all, they are, in general, young, poor, and not inclined to vote. I had a heated discussion (the heat was one-sided; I am non-argumentative) with another roommate about the futility of voting. Que lastima!

It Never Rains but It Pours

2009-11-05T20:46:00.001-05:00

I took the jalopy in for an oil change and learned that it was about to fall apart, so I went out looking for another car today. As I do with almost everything else, I bought the first one I saw. I'll pick it up tomorrow. I had it inspected and it's mechanically sound; it should give five or more years of good use. And it's nice to look at, too. I'm excited, but I would gladly have continued on with the ol' jalopy and done without the outlay of funds.

In the Army Now

2009-11-04T15:15:00.001-05:00

Sgt. F reporting for duty, sir! I visited my unit to provide contact information today. It is currently preparing to deploy; I will remain behind. Since I am ex-Navy, I have to attend Warrior Transition Course, a five-week program designed to bring me up to Army speed, which will begin at the end of December at Fort Sill, Oklahoma. I'm now trying to find information about it online. Then OCS Phase Zero begins in April. All of this means that I will have to put off full-time study until fall 2010. I need to start getting in shape.

A Day at MEPS

2009-10-29T20:16:00.001-04:00

Anyone who has committed to joining the armed forces has experienced a delightful day at a MEPS center. The series of tests, of which the duck walk is legendary, and the lines and waiting all make for a memorable experience. And who can forget the little foul-ups that send one all over the place, over and over, and out of order? Well, the fine people at Springfield MEPS made a difficult day full of all of these inconveniences somehow bearable.

Tomorrow, I will go back to be sworn in. From that point, I will be an E-5 in the National Guard, with Officer Candidate School beginning in April. OCS is a seventeen month program with a commission as a second lieutenant at the end of it. Man, it will feel good to be in the military again.

It's taken a bit of effort and been a wait of some months, but the good news is starting to line up.

2009-10-27T14:38:00.002-04:00

I went to Milford to buy a copy of Jordan's The Gathering Storm. It was the first time that I ever bought a book on the day of its release. I can hardly wait to begin reading it. I'm anticipating even more Martin's A Dance with Dragons, but no release information is available and the best one can hope for is early next year.

2009-10-26T19:52:00.002-04:00

I have just received notification of my graduate school acceptance. I am now an Owl. Hoo, hoo. Hoo, hoo.

2009-10-26T12:35:00.007-04:00

Breakfast, 20091024

Cranberry green tea with cayenne pepper, banana, carrots, 5:1 white-brown rice, and multivitamin, calcium, fish oil, and vitamin c supplements. A typical breakfast in which oatmeal may replace rice. With rice central in most meals, other substitutions include other teas, vegetable juice, soy milk, sardines, tuna, and various greens. The diet consists mainly of raw, unprocessed foods and little meat. I take, on average, two such meals each day, and have eaten this way since moving to New Haven more than two weeks ago. There has been a noticeable change in the way I look and feel. The next step is to find a good, non-franchise grocery store within walking distance and then to get into the habit of buying food there.

* * *

While I'm on the subject of food, I should mention that I have noticed an increasing number of attacks and other competitive behaviors targeted against Subway. One fast food restaurant attacking another is not remarkable, but they all seem to be going after Subway now.

In the old Quiznos commercials, various people ate a five dollar bill. In their new commercials, a juicy-looking, roasted, talking sub appears with a flat, drab looking sub that's obviously meant to be from Subway. I've been to both Quiznos and Subway. Both have excellent subs, but the real difference is in their respective nutritional values, which I provide here and here. There really is no comparison: Subway is by far better for you.

Cici's Pizza has just come out with a limited time offer that compares its 24 foot-long buffet for $4.99 with Subway's $5 foot-long. In a KFC commercial, there's a guy eating a KFC $5 value meal making his friend eating a Subway sub feel stupid because he didn't get a drink with it. And now Blimpie, too, is offering a variety of subs for $5.

But perhaps my favorite commercial targeting Subway comes from Domino's Pizza. In it, a Domino's delivery man is describing their new roasted subs to Sub-Mart employees. The two employees are eating Domino's subs because their manager wants to know "what they're up against." I've got to hand it to Sub-Mart. Their employees have highly refined senses of taste. I especially like how the girl is holding her sub. Who the hell holds a sub like that? Anyway, one of the Sub-Mart employees asks their compatriot working behind the counter if they have "roasted anything," to which he replies, "No, Chuck, we've got lettuce." Their compatriot happens to be standing in front of a huge pile of lettuce so to make his point he flings a handful of it against the wall. There's a number of problems with this comparison. First, the subs from Domino's are much smaller and those from Subway. Secondly, they are extremely greasy (nutritional information here). Thirdly, Domino's subs aren't made to order, and Subway's are. But Domino's does deliver. Again, there really is no comparison. Oh, and Subway does have the oven roasted chicken sub.

Most of these commercials promote the strengths and ignore the weaknesses of their product with respect to Subway's. Is the value time-limited, or is it constant in time? Yes, you can gorge yourself for five dollars, but is that consistent with your model of value? Is the inclusion of a soft drink really a deal-breaker? The soda mark-up is a great profit maker for fast food restaurants, but you're really only drinking a strong acid. Of course, you can always portray your competition in the most unflattering light possible, even if the representation is not really your competition. It won't even matter if you get your facts wrong--who checks facts?

These commercials use the same techniques used in political campaigns, so it is no wonder that they're so effective. They also demonstrate why changing the way we eat is fundamentally related to changing the world we live in, the way we treat each other, and who we are as individuals.

2009-10-07T17:46:00.002-04:00

For the last two weeks I have been consumed by the move from Groton to New Haven. Before this period, I had been reading and studying on a regular basis. I even did a little programming. Since I started moving, however, everything has been put on hold. The move itself hasn't required much time but I've just felt unmovtivated to do or think about anything else. Well, I should be completely moved by tomorrow, so I hope to resume my fruitful efforts once again sometime soon.

The great thing about my neighborhood is that there is a library and a post office within walking distance. Whichever school accepts me will be within walking distance, and I hope to find a job within walking distance also. I can hardly wait.

2009-08-21T21:46:00.004-04:00

Much has happened since my last post. I resigned my position with the department. Most of my things have been given away, thrown out, or sold, and much of the rest soon will be. I mailed a box of irreplaceables home. I've closed accounts, gone paperless, stopped subscriptions, and asked not to receive offers of credit; mail has slowed to a trickle.

My original plan was to throw a few bags into the car and drive out west. I had gone so far as to buy a road atlas. In my mind there was an image of myself eventually living in a small town out in the middle of nowhere. Now, though, I'm thinking about remaining in the state for a while and perhaps returning to school. Of course I'll get another job. I'm not too concerned about what I'll be doing; I'll bring the same ol' navy know-how to whatever position I take on.

Otherwise, this is an exciting time. The next book in the Wheel of Time series will be released in late October. Modern Warfare 2 will be coming out in November. A Dance with Dragons will hopefully be released in early 2010, and the final season of Lost begins in January.

2009-07-19T22:40:00.007-04:00

The first part of this post was written on the tenth of July.

* * *

It's near midnight and I'm waiting here in Seattle for the next flight on my journey home. I was able to find notepads at the newsstand here, so this seemed like a good time to begin putting my memories and feelings down on paper.

My brother had kept me abreast of dad's condition and on the first he called and told me, "If you're going to come home, now is the time." The call came at about 4:30 AM or so and I am normally asleep at that time, but for some reason I woke up not long before the phone rang. I bought my ticket within an hour for a flight leaving that afternoon.

Throughout the day I had tried to call the Counselor to explain and apologize for the mess I had left the previous day but it wasn't until towards the end of a nine hour layover in Portland the next day that I was able to speak to her briefly.

My brother greeted me at the airport and it wasn't long before we were home. He told me that he had made changes to the place, but I could not have imagined the extent nor the direction of his work. One of the reasons I dreaded the return home was that home had been such a dreary place in which I had usually been alone, but with his wonderful family and the bright result of his labors, being there was a joy.

After allowing me a moment to freshen up from my trip of almost twenty-four hours in the air and waiting, we set out for the hospice to visit dad.

Seeing him was like seeing grandma again, but worse. Dad's condition had been worsening precipitously. Had I come three or four days earlier, I would have been able to converse with him. His every breath seemed a labor. He was only skin and bones with bags attached to openings in his body to collect his wastes or tubes going in to dispense medication. He couldn't move on his own, so hospice staff had to reposition him every two hours to prevent bedsores, and by then he wasn't eating so my brother would give him water with a swab designed just for that purpose.

Brother debated with himself over the time to bring dad home, but hospice staff believed some comfort might yet be afforded dad by his remaining there, so there he remained. It was in the afternoon that my brother took me home, and it was later that evening that my sister-in-law woke me with the news that dad "was no longer feeling pain." We, and all the children, went to the hospice to join brother at dad's side.

One life expires and another makes its painful entrance into the world. My sister-in-law gave birth to a beautiful girl five days later.

I traveled a bit while my brother was spending time with his wife at the hospital. I had breakfast at the Forty-Niner Restaurant in Aiea and went to the Arizona Memorial afterwards. Then I went to the old neighborhood and had lunch at Jane's Fountain on Liliha Street. They removed the counter, and the jukebox had popular music, not the old Japanese songs that it used to. The next day I had breakfast at Shiro's Saimin then checked out the bookstore where my sister used to work (its new location). It is not what it was. So much has changed everywhere.

Throughout my time at home, I spoke with my brother more than ever before and more deeply than ever before. He impressed upon me the value of our limited time and the importance of family. I don't think I've ever felt so happy to be around family, or valued such a limited amount of time as I had with dad. My brother also told me that it is not too late to change. I believe he understands that I'm not really satisfied with my life and will ultimately be unhappy continuing as I am.

Well, I have a bit of perspective now and I am motivated, and it isn't too late.

* * *

It's been about a week since I came back home and for the most part things have returned back to normal for me. It's been a cooler and wetter summer, and besides much has happened, so today was the first time that I put the clothes hangers out. One wasn't enough, so I went to Benny's and bought another one. I'm going to begin riding my bike into work again soon. And tomorrow I'm going to look at a house. This will be the first time I've ever seen a house as a prospective buyer, and the agent told me that this one needs some work, but I'm looking forward to seeing it.

2009-06-09T03:17:00.003-04:00

This weekend I saw the movie Bridge to Terabithia on television. Enchanted, I went to the library yesterday, got my courage up, and went into the children's section to get the book. I started it late last night and finished it early this morning.

It's difficult to describe the storm of ideas provoked by the film and especially the book. The last of the discussion questions at the end of the book is perhaps the most informed. The significance of the bridge is manifold. Jesse leads a dreary existence dominated by the poverty of his family. Money concerns effect the everyday decisions within his family and as a ten year old he already has more responsibilities within it than perhaps a ten year old should. Leslie is of a wealthy family, who has been able to live a life of the mind--she doesn't care so much about what others think, the mean details of the microcosm of nasty schoolchildren. Much has been attributed to the relationship between Greek intellectualism and the lives of leisure that made it possible. The bridge is a means of transcending life as merely economic, rutting animals--the real world--and living lives of ideas and beauty.

I've joined some related fanlistings.

Recently, I read E. Annie Proulx's story Brokeback Mountain and also reread her The Shipping News. I have some others on my list for this week. It's so wonderful to have the time to read again.

2009-05-07T23:03:00.003-04:00

Something strange happened today. I was delivering meals, as I usually do on Thursdays, and my last stop was in one of the projects near the State Pier. As I drove up the hill, I saw a group of ten to fifteen kids, all boys I think, in a circle on a side of the parking lot. There were one or two men loitering at the front of one of the buildings, but few if any other people around. I parked and dropped off the meals. For some reason, I was mindful of those kids. I looked back as I was about to back out of the parking space and one of the kids on a bike was riding towards me right behind my car. Everyone was on the opposite side of the parking lot a moment earlier, but as soon as I was about to leave, the kid was there. As I saw him in the rear view mirror, he was looking straight at me, as if trying to discern whether or not I was aware of him, and he appeared to be riding straight into my car, not to the side. When I did not go, he turned to the side. As I drove out of the parking lot, I looked around. A man was looking right at me. Am I paranoid, or did they just try to set me up? I hate to think that people are able to do these kinds of things, but I suppose they are. This incident has made me somewhat afraid to continue volunteering, but I really enjoy doing it. Perhaps I'll ask the boss to give me a different stop next week.

2009-04-16T20:52:00.002-04:00

I haven't been able to stop thinking about something I saw in the Stop and Shop parking lot a few weeks ago. As I neared my car with some groceries, I saw a lady and her cart. The cart return was half-way down the column of parking spaces and her vehicle was on the far side of it. She was close to the cart return, but chose instead to push her cart into a bunch of carts both farther away from her car and the cart return. Why would she do that? This is the kind of brain-dead insanity I've been talking about the whole time. Absolutely nuts!

2008-11-17T20:33:00.004-05:00

I'm watching my first football game, the Browns vs. the Bills. You might ask why I'm getting into football at my advanced age. Well, I'm always trying to become a more well-rounded person, so I asked two of my football-fan coworkers about the sport and they said that I needed to pick a team. I told them that my favorite colors are blue and gray and asked if those are any team's colors. Mr. F suggested the Dallas Cowboys, but that's a glam team and really not my style. Some months later, Mr. J showed me a newspaper section with all the upcoming match-ups. I looked at all the team logos and was immediately attracted to Browns'. What an unassuming design! I myself like to wear solid colors. And the team name is itself a color. The more Mr. J told me about the Browns, the more I liked them. So, I bought a Browns sweatshirt and now I'm watching the game.

2008-09-10T22:57:00.005-04:00

Rest in Peace, Professor Koltracht

A few days ago I received my copy of Math Connections, the UConn Math Department newsletter. I do not follow developments at my alma mater. Nor do I feel any real connection to the math department there. As I thought about how I might contrive to stop these mailings, I glanced at the front page of the newsletter and saw a picture of Professor Koltracht. This particular issue was dedicated to his memory.

In my senior year at UConn, I took Professor Koltracht's numerical analysis courses. There were less than ten of us in Numerical Analysis I that fall. I recall the madness of those exams. You fully expected to crunch numbers non-stop for the whole test period, and if you were unsure of the material, you were toast. We had a good group, but in Numerical Analysis II the following semester there were perhaps only four or five of us. Three of us took both semesters together, and I felt a special camraderie toward those other two students and for professor.

That spring, I really did not want to be in school. Some of the courses were tough and my imminent graduation was making me anxious to be on my way. In my coversations with professor, I had told him of my military service. One day, as we discussed my desire for flight from that place, he told me that in Israel military service is compulsory. Then he said that compared to the rigors of military service, all of this--and by this he meant college--should be easy for me. That put things into perspective, and I really felt that he wasn't speaking to me as a teacher, but was one old veteran helping another. Professor Israel Koltracht was a fine mathematician, but more importantly he was a fine person and someone who I am proud to have considered a friend. He will be sorely missed.

2008-08-30T17:37:00.002-04:00

I am blessed today. It has been cool with occasional showers--the perfect weather to walk around San Jose--and today I felt as if I knew my way around the city. It was the same with Jaco: I just got used to the place and then I had to go. Already I have in mind my next trip here. Now I have to start turning my mind towards life back home. Surely, though, if I can get maybe five days off, I'm coming back.